HanktheDog Blog

Now that I'm a dlogger and sometimes get e-mail, I've been thinking about it in relation to pee-mail. I've noticed there are both similarities and differences.

1) They're both better when they come in trickles. If you're getting too much of either from somebody, it's likely they're just showing off and trying to pretend they own the whole neighborhood.

2) In the morning, there's always fresh pee-mail, but at least it doesn't hit you all in the face at once like morning e-mail.

3) You can pick up viruses from both, but dogs aren't beastly enough to send you viruses on purpose, unlike some species we might name.

4) In measured amounts, pee-mail is actually good for the environment and can be used as a fertilizer. E-mail, of course, you just have to throw away. Oddly enough, some companies seem to want to keep your old e-mail and root around in it. In my neighborhood, we call them DDDs, for dumpster-diving dogs.

5) You end up getting the same pee-mails over and over again, just like e-mails. (It's good to stay in touch!)

6) Pee-mailing is healthier. You get more exercise and never fill up on spam.

7) You need less equipment with pee-mail, but the equipment that you need is more important.

8) Pee-mailing makes you thirstier.

9) A lot of e-mail stinks but doesn't smell. Most pee-mail, in my experience, smells but doesn't stink. But I'm not counting cat pee-mail, which is another matter altogether!

10) You ever notice how humans seem to wind up doing almost everything via machines? I'm just glad those robot dogs haven't really caught on. I shudder to think what kind of pee-mail we'd get from them.