January 30, 2006
E-Mail and Pee-Mail
1) They're both better when they come in trickles. If you're getting too much of either from somebody, it's likely they're just showing off and trying to pretend they own the whole neighborhood.
2) In the morning, there's always fresh pee-mail, but at least it doesn't hit you all in the face at once like morning e-mail.
3) You can pick up viruses from both, but dogs aren't beastly enough to send you viruses on purpose, unlike some species we might name.
4) In measured amounts, pee-mail is actually good for the environment and can be used as a fertilizer. E-mail, of course, you just have to throw away. Oddly enough, some companies seem to want to keep your old e-mail and root around in it. In my neighborhood, we call them DDDs, for dumpster-diving dogs.
5) You end up getting the same pee-mails over and over again, just like e-mails. (It's good to stay in touch!)
6) Pee-mailing is healthier. You get more exercise and never fill up on spam.
7) You need less equipment with pee-mail, but the equipment that you need is more important.
8) Pee-mailing makes you thirstier.
9) A lot of e-mail stinks but doesn't smell. Most pee-mail, in my experience, smells but doesn't stink. But I'm not counting cat pee-mail, which is another matter altogether!
10) You ever notice how humans seem to wind up doing almost everything via machines? I'm just glad those robot dogs haven't really caught on. I shudder to think what kind of pee-mail we'd get from them.
Thanks. In the great tradition of bathroom humor.
Sounds like Sampson is a prolific pee-mailer. Maybe he's trying to slow you down and smell the roses (among other things)?
Excellent point! And Endo makes a similar observation. So I changed Number 5 accordingly.
I've often wished to pee on the newspaper, especially the editorial section.
Thanks for the insight. Ancient trails of pee-mail, like ancient paths through forests that later become roads and byways. Interesting thought. They should have little plaques like: "This spot originally founded by Chillingworth Dogbottom, circa 1898."
I guess I flame other dogs because my pee mail burns the grass. I don't purposely do that but that's just how it comes out.
It's interestin' how much information we leave each other in our pee mail. Luckily the big G doesn't mine OUR mail. It may be only a matter of time before they try though. Should I claim the rights to Dogle now?
Well, we never think our own stink. The nature of the beast.
I'm sorry to hear that. E-mail will just have to do for you. You're only human.
I've never gotten the chance to leave pee-mail in the snow. But I've written cursive in the sand.
You're right. Pee-mail does sometimes result in burning some grass, and some people, up.
Even we dogs don't care for dog piles much. These aren't so communication as dire necessity.
What'd'ya gonna do. Dog humor.
You looked like you were having so much fun in at the beach, and we're up here doing the same thing in 18" of snow. :O)
And we wanted to e-mail you, but couldn't. Bummers. Guess you're a pee-mail only kind of guy.
Baxter, Elsie, and Ridge (from Labtails)
P.S. Can we put a link to your blog on our blogroll?